As you may or may not know (depending on if you saw my update earlier in the week), I am so pleased and so relieved to say that I’m back home, with my family and carers around me.
I’ve had countless admissions in the past 8 years and this was by far the worst.
I was so lonely and so down, put in a bay with people who were sedated/couldn’t talk, and was expected to be independent enough to look after myself.
There were nurses who spoke to me twice in 1 whole day. I wasn’t allowed visitors. I can’t crush my own meds. I can’t clean my own inner tube without the supplies next to me. I don’t deflate & refill my own RIG-J balloon. Twice my tube was blocked by registered nurses, yet they just walked away and left me to try and unblock it. It was my family who was chasing up various departments and me phoning from my hospital bed. I was nil-by-mouth for 5 days (each day my surgery cancelled), and it was only after we made a complaint that they agreed to give constant IV fluids. I had doctors who bullied me and who I was genuinely scared of, who said that it’s my fault that I’m a drug addict and ‘he’s fed up with the hallucination sob story and just move up the bed’. No one knew what anyone else was doing and empty promises were made day after day. In the end, I was so lonely, so bored, and so depressed, and I couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I’d like to thank everyone who kept in touch, and a few people in particular:
- Davina: you were my saving grace in there.
- Lois: despite lack of contact for years and years, I couldn’t thank you more for being there for me, and for the lovely surprise post that I received when I got home.
- Libby: for understanding more than anyone else – you were and continue to be my absolute rock.
- Katie: for your such generous donation towards the project.
- To Sally-Clare & Elisha for completing the Easter Challenge – the prizes have been split between you both.
- To Shane, Amanda, Gaynor, Donna, Claire Smith, Claire Wilson & Nancy for my parcel full of goodies. It came as a wonderful surprise and I’m so grateful.
- My wonderful carers who showed genuine care and support when I needed it.
- To my mumma for my lovely surprise parcel that arrived today.
- And of course, more than anything, to my family who helped from afar to ensure my care was right.
I was overwhelmed by the replies I got on my original post and it really did help me through. I didn’t expect it, nor was it sympathy I was asking for, but to everyone who commented, messaged me, phoned me, and sent donations, thank you so much. I’m so grateful.
Now that I’m back home, I’m going to spend some time to recover, have a rethink about the project & how I’m going to run it longer term, and enjoy the time at home with my family.
I will continue to write updates like these nonetheless.
Thank you again – you don’t know how much you all helped me through the hardest couple of weeks of my life!
Lots of love,